Is asking for an HIV test a red flag in a relationship?

HIV/AIDS (human immunodeficiency virus/acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) is a virus that attacks cells that help the body fight infection, making a person more vulnerable to other infections and diseases. 

Though it can be transmitted through many ways like from mother to child at birth, sharing of sharp equipment, the prevailing way still stands at through unprotected sex with an infected person.

The first rampancy of HIV in Uganda reported 11% of positive cases in pregnant women, in 1985. UNAIDS reports that by 2019, about 1.5 million people were living with HIV in Uganda.

Symptoms of HIV can include fever, joint pains, sore throat, skin rash which can as well be symptoms for common infections. This makes it hard for people to truly tell whether they have HIV or just a random infection. Many people just brush the symptoms off for fear of being stigmatized when they are tested positive with HIV. 

This stems from the fact that there has not been a cure developed for HIV and so once once tests positive, they will have the virus for the rest of their life! Others have the fear of succumbing their lives to drugs (ARVs, antiretroviral drugs) that help to slow down the multiplication of the virus and prevent one from transmitting it to the others, and these drugs have to be taken every day to achieve maximum results. The thought of having to take drugs every single day keeps some people away from having a medical test to find out their status.

Because of the ARVs, many people living with HIV are hard to detect from plain sight and this has increased the spread of HIV through unprotected sex since one will just think the other person is fine. People will even say they are negative yet they have not tested in while and have probably been "sleeping around".

So should it be considered a red flag if someone you are sleeping with asks for an HIV test?

  A friend of mine recently came to me with an issue about how a guy she has been sleeping with asked her if they could have an HIV test. And she said "we had even never had unprotected sex nor showed the interest that l wanted it and out of the blue he asked for a test!" 

Her point was, he didn't trust her, he thought she was sleeping with other people even when they were not exclusive. 

To consider this a red flag, we need to first guage the nature of the relationship y'all have. Is it defined? Have you agreed to be exclusive? Have you set rules for how to sleep with other people? Or is it just a hook up? No matter how hard it is to keep up with the use of condoms ( l know you can relate even if you don't say it, lol) it is very important to keep the sex protected when you are in an undefined relationship or arrangement. 

So if the other person asks you to get tested, l feel it shouldn't really be considered a red flag. It is rather going to keep both of you safe and free from worry and y'all can possibly end up ditching the condoms after all! Win win if you ask me. 

Though, this doesn't mean you start dragging someone to a health facility if you want them tested, you can bulk purchase self testing kits from a pharmacy and store them right next to the condoms for emergency!

The more we make self HIV testing a habit, the more we will curb it's increasing transmission rates. Stay safe, take control of your HIV status.