Showing posts with label The Tinder Swindler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Tinder Swindler. Show all posts

Saturday, February 5, 2022

The Tinder Swindler: Is it possible to still believe in dating apps after watching the Netflix's Documentary?

 If you have watched Netflix's viral documentary based on a true story, The Tinder Swindler l believe you have had a moment of reflection on whether you can still believe in dating apps or not. 

You're not alone, been there too. You could have even deleted your tinder profile already.


 As someone who has used tinder a lot, l really didn't find much success with other dating apps or platforms so l can't speak much for them, watching this Netflix documentary made me have a whirlwind of thoughts of what could really go wrong trusting someone l met online. 


If you haven't watched the film, long story short is, an online con artist portrays himself as a billionaire from a rich family that deals in diamonds and lavishes the women he meets on tinder with fancy trips, private jet lifestyles, gains their trust and promises them a future then uses that trust to swindle money from them. 

For starters, l have nothing on the women that were swindled, the world is a pretty messed up place and good people are always being taken advantage of. It's opening up to someone, giving them trust, them showing you their vulnerability and you end up trusting them, that's literally what life is. 

The fact that most of these women were people that were independent and had some savings, makes me believe he particularly targeted them. 

One of the women called herself a "tinder expert" because she had been on tinder for quite a while and she had no idea that a sweet, loving, charming, and somehow really successful young man could be a con artist. 


Being scammed through love is not being gullible and neither is it only to the people you meet online. You can meet a well-to-do man at a work conference get to know him for months as he lays the plan to scam you. 

But will all this stop you from trusting people? Will you completely give up on finding love because you were scammed by someone you loved with your whole heart? Is it really possible to still be able to swipe right on tinder profiles after such an incident? 

Well, how can we move on and still be cautious? 

Some of the women that were swindled 

Dating, whether online or physically will always be hard. It is up to you to realize which are the red flags and when to pump the breaks. 

Googling up the person and finding questionable articles may not be enough. Through my own understanding, this swindler had a whole bunch of a crew set up, so he could possibly have had a plan for if the ladies asked to meet his family. 

Phew! It's so hard, finding someone to give your heart to may not come on a silver platter.

Do not ignore the signs, it is okay to question your every move. 

Take a step back when the people you have just met are asking for ridiculous demands from you. Although deciding what demands are ridiculous could be stifled by the amount of love we have for the people. 

Just because you understand that the other person is capable of paying you back does not mean you have to take out loans for them. I know it's hard especially if you love and trust the person and feel like you have to be there for them. 

Money will always save you from or land you in difficult situations, not to say that you shouldn't be able to help the people you love, but don't bend over backwards to the point where you literally break your back for them. 


Here are some of my own (non-tested) tips l use to stay cautious with people l meet online. 

Google search them, that's the very first thing l do in case there isn't an Instagram page linked on the online profile. Follow through anything with their name on it, be it a LinkedIn profile, Facebook page, a blog article, hell even a university registration number!

It is quite hard for people in my country though, because someone can even not have anything listed on them online. But these small findings you can get from google can come in handy, you can find out where the person works possibly, some of his friends. 

There's this guy l used to know, hadn't met him online but our conversations were not solid l then found out from his registration number l found on google what he had studied and what job he was doing in my town, FBI agent right here. 


Contribute to the bills when you meet up, this is something many females will object to, but even paying just for your transport to an agreed place will give you some power and not a sense of being indebted to the person. 

I have specifically not met someone that has offered me a lavish private jet treatment, lol, but l believe my instincts would not let me accept such an offer. What if say we got stuck and we were asked to contribute, l wouldn't afford to. That's definitely a sign for me to pump the breaks.  


Don't make hasty decisions, don't drop everything else because someone you have just met has asked you to go live with them in a different state. Make decisions that you can handle in case the other person bailed out. If you have decided to suddenly move in with him, can you still make the rent if he disappears on you? 

Asking yourself such questions even if it's in regards to a smaller decision will always help you pump the breaks on your love spree. 


With all that said, please go ahead and keep looking for love, you can not lie to yourself that you will give up on the search because as humans, we are tailored to love and be loved. 

One of the women in the documentary said she was even already back on tinder! 

Look for love because good men and good women are still out there. 

Let me even go and renew my tinder profile.