The other day, l came across a tweet that beguiled me on a one Twitter account @DonCorleANN. It said, "Because l don't want girls giving up their careers and lives for men. Please share what you think girls in their early 20s should experience even before they consider marriage."
I am one person who advocates for woman emancipation, well on the low, and not tying your life to the needs of a man. Going through the replies was an awakening, like this gospel needed to be preached! And if you are a common Twitter user, you know that aside from the banter, the Twitter community really has a way of dishing out all the helpful and life-saving stuff.
Okayy let me relay some of the stuff here;
"Date yourself: Get to know what you like/dislike, what recharges/drains you, buy yourself books/games/flowers or anything you like, level up your skills. Remember marriage is an optional quest altogether it does not affect the main progress." _I can not emphasize how crucial dating yourself is! Once you appreciate and enjoy your own company, you will find it very easy to enjoy someone else's company too. Many times we rely on men to get us the things that make us happy, but have you ever tried getting those things yourself and realized how refreshing it can be?
Lately, l have fallen into the habit of buying myself alcohol, something l didn't think l would ever do but l must say it has been one of the things that changed my perspective about enjoying a drink at the comfort of your home without the thought that maybe your owe the guy the bought the beer sex.
"Learn who you are and unlearn your conditioning. Choose friends who are not man-obsessed. Experience being single without the suffocating desire to commit and that way you learn to date for the pleasure of the company and not because you want to be in a relationship." _Have you ever had a group of friends that were all in happy relationships and bluntly made you feel like you have failed at life for not finding a man? Ditch them, get new ones. If you ever feel like you really have to be in a relationship to be happy, you are not dating for the right reasons.
"Learn to give yourself an orgasm. Be able to teach that to someone else. Don't accept that the goal for sex with a man is when a man has an orgasm." _I think this is my favorite! Very many women have made their brains believe that once a man climaxes, that's it, that's all! Heyy you are entitled to the pleasure too, it's supposed to be a two-way street. And for you to come to this realization you must have figured out what works for you, what gets you off and be able to convey your wants and desires to the other person.
"Being financially stable. When you are able to support yourself, you no longer fantasize about being "saved" by rich guys." _I always tell people that why am not in a relationship is because I'm not financially ready for one. Many actually laugh at me saying that if the man has the money why do you have to stress yourself. There is a fulfillment that comes with financial freedom. Once you can give yourself the things you wish a man could give you, you are not even blinded when it comes to loving someone. Money most times masquerade as love, the small and cheap things you glorified someone for, turn out insignificant when you can give them to yourself.
"Don't make career and life decisions based on a hypothetical husband arriving. Live based on the context that you're in, cross that bridge later and find a man who will help you cross the bridges in life rather than be the obstacle you need to get around." _If you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to choose between a career path and a boyfriend, don't even think twice. How do you even allow yourself to get to that point? Worst of all is when the boyfriend is even not sure that you are the one.
"Have your own life before becoming someone else's wife. Have your own home where you choose your own furniture and make your own rules. Have your own friends. Have your own long-term dreams. Just be your own whole person who has a full life." _There are girls who move right from their parent's house to their husband's or boyfriend that later turns into a husband. How will you know how to live on your own? If anything happened to our husband, God forbid, would you move back to your parents' house again? Learning to live on your own and having your own friends and support system is one thing everyone should experience before they commit to a lifetime partner. That is how housewives fall into depression when their husbands get back to work because their husband is their entire life! They have no personal goals, passions, other friends.
Ask yourself, would my life still be full if l never get to find a man? If the answer is no, then start on the self-discovery journey already. A man should be just the icing to the cake, the cake being your life. You should be able to get that beach house you want to live in with your husband and 3 kids even if the husband and the kids never come.
But we will not neglect the fact that love is a beautiful thing and you deserve that beautiful thing too.
 |
| Literal peace out! |
